Evil Bob Campaigns

Sorry for creating a new topic, but I wanted to avoid cluttering in the previous one.

Samurai! I come here to bring you a joyous new, the attribution of a name to the most august first squad of the Suzaku Company and a explanation of it's objective and of the code of conduct Akodo Heisuke expects you to follow.

The Osorezugumi (No Fear Unit) is a unit devoted to outmaneuvering and crippling the enemy trough superior tactics and assault. We are the elite in the elite, the warriors whose very mention strikes fear in the hearts of our enemies. Our main focus is obtaining superiority trough combat, our second focus is victory.

As such an elite group demands, Akodo Heisuke created a code of conduct he shall follow and he expects everyone to follow:

- No Legionnaire shall be left behind (if there is possibility to save him)

- There are no clans in the Osorezugumi. There is merit and the absence of merit. Every person is a legionnaire and every Osorezugumi is a sibling.

- Excellence is expected in the actions of the members of the Osorezugumi, as well as gallantry.

- During a campaign (aka in the field of duty) there shall be no luxuries for the members of the Osorezugumi, everyone shall eat the same food as the lowest soldier and everyone shall sleep in the same kind of bed.

- An Osorezugumi is the paragon of being a legionnaire. As such, it goes without question that loyalty and duty towards the Empire are the foremost virtues in the prospective Osorezugumi, as well as valor and gallantry. You represent the elite of the elite. Support that claim.

And those are all for now, now my proud Osorezugumi, let me hear you roar! Display with honor your colors and post your justice here!

*Places hand to chin thoughtfully.*

I guess that means I'm going to have to make sure the entire squad is well taken care of in terms of food and bedding.

I would say so.

/Roars

/Girls Roar


It's quite loud.

/Sigh

I guess that means it's time to see the quarter master... Or the local merchant... then there is that Kasuga, maybe I can hire some bed warmers...

Did I mention Heisuke only eats soldier rations when he is in a campaign?

VERY GOOD ROAR AOKI-SAN! GIRLS!

ROAR

Can I join the squad as an honorary member so I can get the sweet sweet Cuddles-sama cuddles?

Kinky. Incest-gumi!

Or do you all just sleep with the Lions? Mad people.

Oh, squad 2 is the elite squad. You cannot be elite and heavy infantry and the elite of the elite AND the epitome of legionnaires. Stop stealing my thunder. I claimed elite squad status long ago!

I suggest the gunso's have a wrestling match over the honor of who commands the elite squad.

I say kenjutsu. If the Akodo can even hit me

Wrestling.

Much more fun to watch.

/gets popcorn

The challenged can choose the method of the duel. Shuichi challenged me on his superior's behalf, hoping correctly (but it would be no shame if Heisuke declined as Shuichi had stepped beyond his bounds...). So no, bad silly Matsu, kenjutsu is my chosen duel method.

I didn't challenge anyone I made a suggestion...  It's your choice weather to listen to me or not.

Ah I see, I see. Your gunso isn't up to the challenge. Well, I am glad you have covered for him and declared yourselves to not be elites. Fine with me  :P *Pokes Shuichi a few times*

/facepalm

Akodo-sama can look after himself.  He'll be angry about this.

I do like his angry face.   :-*

Well If you agree to it Kitsuki-sama I suppose I can take my gunso's place in this wrestling match...  Wouldn't want the honor of the Squad to suffer because our Gunso is indisposed.  Though I'm sure if you just waited a while we could clear this up soon...

I believe you are mistaken.  You do not get to choose the type of duel.  I'd be happy to explain it to you since you seem to have missed the finer points in your schooling.

Well I was figuring this as more a friendly match then a duel Kakita-san.  After all we wouldn't want to accidentally encourage enmity between the squads would we?  Though if we want to take this on in more formal terms I can speak to my Gunso and we can move along those paths.

I'll be happy to use the back of my blade.  After all you don't want to be viewed as doing lewd things to a single woman.

"What's lewd about a wrestling match between two samurai?  Also since when was the match with you Kakita-san? This was a match between squads and as I recall you are of yet unassigned.  I only mentioned standing in as my own Gunso was currently unavailable."

If we're determining leadership via rasslin', I may just transfer back over to infantry company and win that position.

Since you don't seem to want to duel my Gunso I'd be happy to take her place. ;)

Me! Me! Pick me!  ;D

It's not that I won't accept I was just curious as how the word Duel came into the context of the conversation.  I was thinking of perhaps having weekly matches between the squads with the the victorious squad being able to fly the banner of the elite until the next competition.  Tests to hon our skills as warriors and encourage friendly competition and camaraderie between the squads.

One week we could have a Wrestling Match the next a Kenjutsu Match followed by that we could do a archery competition then whatever else we desire.

This is a whole-nother issue then what we were discussing and though it has merit it requires further research.

L-L-LAST SECOND SAVE.

"If not the initial purpose of the conversation Kakaita-san, what was it that we were discussing?"

Whether your Gunso is manlier then my Gunso.

Oh hrm....

How did we want to determine that?

"Sack" race.
(NSFW) (http://tvmedia.ign.com/tv/image/article/108/1081362/south-park-20100329083143148_640w_1270130404.jpg)

Wrong - when challenged to a duel you can choose the type of duel. Otherwise the challenger could just choose something they are amazing at ever time. "I challenge you to a be me contest! Ha, look, I win!". You can make a counter offer and it can even turn into a negotiation over what the method of resolution of the dispute (major or minor) will be. I am happy to be corrected but prove otherwise thank you. And don't question my schooling or you will get schooled *grin*

And again, no wrestling duel :P it is uncouth

Also, where did this manlier thing come from? How about more refined or more skillful? Finesse over brute force damn you!

I think Kakita-san was saying I don't get to choose the type of duel Kitsuki-sama. because well I kinda stated it was going to be wrestling ;p

As for the manlier competition I dunno where it came from but I think it may be a good idea *nods*

It is for this reason that I am able to annoy the snot out of people and when they challenge me, choose a drinking contest... to the death.

It is actually, though it is considered slightly off if not dishonourable. It is highly unusual and uncultured to not reply with what you are challenged with or an iai duel or spell duel if you are a shugenja. But yes, you are still allowed to do it!

And apologies to the Kakita for misunderstanding their comments. I thought they were aimed at me, not at you Shuichi. My apologies.

Finally again at Amano - drinking competition to the death is awesome! Become friends with a Tamori who can give you a bottle of jurojin's balm in liquid form. Sip it occassionally and be completely sober. Laugh as all your opponents die from too much alcohol!

but but that's cheating....

Nah, just have ridiculous amounts of Earth to overcome the effects of intoxication. :D

I remember once having this idea for a duel. Send paper cranes fly and see whose flies further. Gather people in the garden of the castle. Let the opponent fly his first. Climb up a tower. Fly yours.

Win! Serious mega win! Reminds me of that golf battle in a film where they say who can hit it furtherest. Guy 1 hits it far across the green. Guy 2 hits it into the parking lot and it bounces forever down the road. Awesome

I have an idea, for the challenge, to see who shall be the elite and who shall be relegated to a secondary position.

Let us do a tactical wargame. A small 'mass battle'. Whoever wins, takes the place :|

You may concede now.

I think I heard a meow...

You have kittens here?  I like kittens.

Nay; let us a do a competition of arts...

I concede now.

Art?   ???

/lets the girls do the painting.  Strangely it turns out far better than anything Aoki could ever do.

Painting contest, Girls eat the cranes. Girls get indigestion.

Proper Lion-Crane hate, how I have missed you all these years.

I do not see Clans. I see merit and lack of it.

Problem is the Crane so often lack it.

I keep seeing mouths move, but all I hear is "Meow meow mrrowr mew hiss-hiss meow."...

*epic coffee keyboard spill*

This made me laugh.

Your new name is Colbert-sama.

Oh? How come?

He doesn't see race or gender.  The only way he can tell if somebody is female is if he's uncontrollably attracted to them.

How about we settle this with a private game of shogi, Heisuke-san? Would that be acceptable? A mass combat would only tire out your troops and could wrinkle my squad's kimono. That would be a nuisance, ne?