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Author Topic: The Weight of Duty  (Read 4073 times)
Akodo Heisuke
Suzaku Company of the South
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Posts: 164



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« on: September 26, 2011, 07:03:24 AM »

Heisuke stared idly at the letter. He had just received it, but it's content was obvious even before breaking the seal. It was a commendation, an official praise for his gallantry and his courage, and in it carried the promotion to Gunso. His eyes instinctively moved to the pile of letters, it was obvious that among them were the praises of his comrades, of his family, after all, everyone was proud for him.

Then why, why couldn't he feel that same thrill? Why couldn't he go past polite replies when inquired about his promotion. Why? He closed his eyes, setting the letter aside, and drifting away into the past.

...

"Don't you dare close your eyes Masashigi." Heisuke barked at the limp figure he carried, almost dragged, trough the path. He smiled, speaking slightly softer once the man turned his tired eyes to him "It's hard enough to drag you as it is, without you trying to make some effort" He turned away to face front, the image of the village growing closer and closer, soon they would be safe.

The old man at the gate couldn't believe his eyes as thirty legionnaires entered in various states of injuries. None of the thirty was free of any mark betraying physical confrontation, recent physical confrontation. "Sinichi-san, Fusada-san, barricade the gate. Hametsu-san, Kusanagi-san, take whatever supplies we have to the village's storehouse" he ordered around "Where is your village healer? Take me there. Now." he turned to the old man, who nodded nervously and rushed with him towards a small cottage uphill. Little by little the villagers were going out to see the commotion.

...

Heisuke's eyes opened. He sighed as he raised and walked towards the cupboard and retrieved a small bottle of sake and a cup. He poured himself a cup and returned to his seat, setting his eyes on the clear liquid. His eyes closed once more.

...

"It is not your fault Heisuke." the Dragon said, his hand reflectively going to the bandage that covered his left eye "As far as I know you do not control the weather. Think on the bright side, they will not march fast enough under this weather, it might buy us sometime."

"It's irrelevant." Heisuke answered sourly "You know full well supplies are dangerously close to deplete, and this is after all the rationing we've done. The crop was not big enough to feed a village let alone a village plus an unit." he turned, setting his eyes on the man "What are we going to do? We cannot let these peasants face death at those beasts, or worse, at the hands of starvation" he lowered his eyes, turning back "And we can not take them with us. They would only slow us down. We risk too much here. We can not fail."

The Dragon remained silent, letting the silence linger. He finally shrugged, turning to leave "Whatever you decide Heisuke. We will follow you." he said as he left the room "We owe you our lives. Anything you decide shall be the correct thing."

Heisuke did not reply this time. For the first time, he did not know what to do. He raised his eyes to the heaven, trying to find an answer. The only answer he got was rain.

...

Heisuke returned back to the present, taking the cup to his lips, but unable to take a sip. He put the cup back on the table, and then rested his head on his hands, returning to his meditation.

...

All the legionnaires where gathered around Heisuke, awaiting for his decisions. "Thank you for coming" he begun saying, turning from the window to face them "As you know, we've been here for one week, and the storm hasn't yet stopped, nor it looks like ti will do any time soon."

"So, I've decided we shall leave immediately, carrying what few provisions we can and try to cover the distance to HQ, but there is no estimate time of how much it will take, this village is probably not even in the Imperial Charts." he said severely "Masashigi-san's knowledge of the area tells us if we walk south we will be at least near to one of the main roads in four days and from there we should reach HQ with relative ease. We must also remember we have in pursuit a much larger force, and failure to report in will certainly cause much more deaths. In that sense the storm has helped us."

The Legionnaires looked between each other, the plan was excellent, but there was still one question left unanswered. "What about the peasants?" one of the men said shyly.

Heisuke remained silent for some moments, his face betraying no emotion "As you know..." he started, turning towards the window again "...we can not take them with us, such would represent a delay that we can not afford, but we can also not let them stay here and face a gruesome death in the hands of the Yobanjin or worse, at the hands of starvation. As such, I've decided after much introspection that there is only one humane way of dealing with this problem." he turned back, eyeing all of the present "We shall provide them a quick and, as far as we can, painless death."

"They are mostly old people, women and children with the few odd men that stayed behind for the crop. The geography of the place makes it hard that bandits target this village, as does the evident poverty, so these people are not used to combat."

His eyes set on the assembled, their faces betrayed no disgust at the decision. The silence was finally broken by the same voice "When do you want us to start?"

"Immediately. Dismissed."

The disposal of the peasants was surprisingly quick, and in but an hour the deed had been finished. The decision weighted heavily in Heisuke's shoulders, but it had to be done, what kind of compassion would he had shown if he had let them face starvation? Yet these thoughts were interrupted by the sun breaking trough the pitch black sky. As the last of the peasants died by the sword, so did the rain die.

"The Heavens favor our actions!" some of the soldiers cheered, happy that the march wouldn't be done under the merciless rain.

When they arrived one week later to the HQ they were beaten, fatigued and utterly broken. But the thirty had survived. Heisuke had guaranteed that. Masashigi turned, drawing a broken smile "I told you it was good to trust you. You are the best of us Heisuke."

Heisuke thanked that Masashigi was taken away by the healers. He couldn't bare to answer his words.

...

A feeling of disgust crossed the face of Heisuke, forcing him to throw the content of the cup away. He raised again, giving the fate of the cup to the bottle, and heading towards the window. As he started into the distance he realized what should be done. He mustn't forget.
« Last Edit: September 26, 2011, 08:38:31 AM by Akodo Heisuke » Logged

Lion Clan • South Company • Gunso • Resolved • Tactician • Siege
Honor: What is Expected | Status: 3.0 | Glory: 2.5

God has given to man no sharper spur to victory than contempt of death.
Yoritomo Virendra
Suzaku Company of the South
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« Reply #1 on: September 26, 2011, 08:01:00 AM »

o.0

You need something stronger than sake. *nods*

I liked it.   Grin
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Mantis * Naval * Prophet * Dirty Gaijin? * Scourge

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Akodo Heisuke
Suzaku Company of the South
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Posts: 164



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« Reply #2 on: September 26, 2011, 08:38:53 AM »

Ok edited it to make it more believable and more... tragic.

Thanks for the feedback Cheesy
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Lion Clan • South Company • Gunso • Resolved • Tactician • Siege
Honor: What is Expected | Status: 3.0 | Glory: 2.5

God has given to man no sharper spur to victory than contempt of death.
Kitsuki Masakaze
Suzaku Company of the South
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South Company Gunso


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« Reply #3 on: September 26, 2011, 04:48:42 PM »

Why so serious?

More seriously, nice. Enjoyed the more tragic and believeable version. Good job!
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Dragon Clan * Samurai * Gunso * Voice * Benten's blessing * Enlightened * Probably playing a prank on you

Honor: What is expected Status: 3 (Gunso) Glory 3.0

Carries: Daisho (Blue and black saya, gold and blue handles), unusual baggy but flowy kimono, armor, green and gold obi, a tea set, sweets, key to the squad 2 sake cabinet.

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Kitsuki Yasuko
Genbu Company of the North
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« Reply #4 on: September 27, 2011, 07:04:34 PM »

Oh my. I loved this.
It was strong, well-written, and exciting. I think my jaw dropped a few floors when Heisuke resolved to kill them all.

Much respect, man.
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Dragon Clan • Courtier • Advisor to Seppun Shin • Imperial • Justicar-wannabe • Knows things you don't • Smells of apricot
Status: 1.5 • Glory: 2.0 • Honor: What is expected
Carries: Wakizashi, knife, calligraphy set, gloves

"I see nothing more than you do. You look the wrong way."
Akodo Heisuke
Suzaku Company of the South
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Posts: 164



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« Reply #5 on: September 28, 2011, 06:56:39 AM »

Thanks Yasuko Smiley

To be honest, I thought that would have been the only action adequate with the strict teachings of Bushido that a Lion would have. Leaving them to face a death as gruesome as starvation, or worse, to suffer the gruesome fate of slavery under the Yobanjin were both totally against Heisuke's code of conduct.

Optimally he would have taken them with his unit, but the stakes were too high and the peasants would only slow them.

Also, as a final thought, this is but a small teaser on Heisuke's psyche, trough RP I hope to little by little shed light on his ways. When I finished devising him and started working on his mechanics, the first thought I got was "Wow, this one came out great."

Let's hope the player can live to the expectations he has created of him Smiley
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Lion Clan • South Company • Gunso • Resolved • Tactician • Siege
Honor: What is Expected | Status: 3.0 | Glory: 2.5

God has given to man no sharper spur to victory than contempt of death.
Soshi Karoshi
Genbu Company of the North
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Posts: 153


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« Reply #6 on: October 01, 2011, 03:17:39 PM »

Form: I enjoyed the format of intersecting reminiscing, I like formal tricks like that. You might want to experiment more in this theme by distorting chronology of events or by gradual disclosure of the situation, starting from less telling elements like emotions and ending on actual event. I see you doing this thing, but I think you can make it even stronger. Also, I think you have potential for strong dialogues, perhaps try to make space for them at some expense of third-person descriptions.

Content: A true samurai story. It's not easy to portray an Akodo commander without being clichι tactical smartass. You succeeded. You also portray samurai-heimin relations not unlike how I like them to be portrayed, but again his remorse could be more felt if there was a short scene when he took heimin life in person. But the 'when you kill, you pay for it' kind of message was well-conveyed.

Looking forward to interactions between our scarred characters! Tongue
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Scorpion Clan • Bushi • Magistrate • Black Tortoise Nikutai • Quartermaster • Fixer • Wan • Blessed Workaholic

Glory: 2 • Status: 1.5 • Honour: Untrustworthy

Personal Description • Theme Music • Shards #1 & Shards #2 • Quartermaster's Office • Rules of Requisition • Requesting Gear & Provisions


Wears: sturdy clothing (maroon & black), light armour, mask, citrus scent, winter cloak (outdoors) • Carries: daisho, jitte, private stuff
Akodo Heisuke
Suzaku Company of the South
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Posts: 164



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« Reply #7 on: October 01, 2011, 03:25:44 PM »

Thank you Karoshi Smiley Glad for your feedback, though I am unfamiliar how to do the distorting chronology. I will try to incorporate dialogues as well.

Perhaps one thing I forgot to focus is the youth of Heisuke. He was a Nikutai forced to assume a position of command due to the death of all senior officers. Rokugan overly romanticizes war, portraying it more as a large duel than as the gruesome ordeal it is.

I shall certainly work to incorporate your ideas and improve my story Smiley

PS: Same here, I think our characters will mesh very well. In a sense, we are both 'damaged goods'.
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Lion Clan • South Company • Gunso • Resolved • Tactician • Siege
Honor: What is Expected | Status: 3.0 | Glory: 2.5

God has given to man no sharper spur to victory than contempt of death.
Soshi Karoshi
Genbu Company of the North
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Posts: 153


Void is a liquid


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« Reply #8 on: October 01, 2011, 03:35:22 PM »

Glad for your feedback, though I am unfamiliar how to do the distorting chronology. I will try to incorporate dialogues as well.

Well, something like showing the retreat to HQ first with some hints that it was a lesser evil choice, then getting us familiar with the squad's stay in village and the gravity of food situation, then providing rationale for their dilemma showing the initial fall back from Yobanjin advance and last - the climax of heimin killing. The weather descriptions and explicit dates may help in not getting too cryptic. But I'd hate to see this piece shook up too much, it's very good as it stands. Perhaps some thought for your next writings.
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Scorpion Clan • Bushi • Magistrate • Black Tortoise Nikutai • Quartermaster • Fixer • Wan • Blessed Workaholic

Glory: 2 • Status: 1.5 • Honour: Untrustworthy

Personal Description • Theme Music • Shards #1 & Shards #2 • Quartermaster's Office • Rules of Requisition • Requesting Gear & Provisions


Wears: sturdy clothing (maroon & black), light armour, mask, citrus scent, winter cloak (outdoors) • Carries: daisho, jitte, private stuff
Kakita Miki
Suzaku Company of the South
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Posts: 130


Fastest Draw in the South.


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« Reply #9 on: October 01, 2011, 09:29:47 PM »

Hee hee.

This company must be the deran... I mean damaged company.
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Crane Clan * Samurai * Duelist * Nikutai * Yojimbo * Obtuse

Honor: Exceptional Status: 1.5 Glory 2.0

Carries: Daisho (White saya with silver flames, blue steel blade), Faded pink kimono, blue obi, soft blue traveling cloak, white fan with design of blue flames, sweets pouch.
Kaiu Yosai
Genbu Company of the North
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Posts: 74


Become familiar with every art you come across


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« Reply #10 on: October 04, 2011, 07:46:19 PM »

Trouble weighs heavy on this ones heart. Sounds like we shall be drinking together.
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Crab Clan | Artisan | Puppeteer | Siege | Tactician | Gunso

Honor: 4.5 Status: 3 Glory: 3

Genbu Company of the North: Gunso

Carries: Daisho, War Fan, Craftsman Tools, Turtle Motif Cane, Turtle Motif False Leg, Smoking Pipe

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